Living on the Edge

Wallflower – this term became known to me early-on in my life. Being one was not fun, and sometimes hurt. I was not cool. I couldn't dress to impress. We didn't throw parties that everyone was begging to attend. I still remember feeling proud the day when Dad picked us up from a birthday party in his company car – a deep purple Firebird – our “recognition factor” jumped several points as guys and girls crowded around to see it. The white Camaro had the same effect. 

Our church youth group was something of which my sister and I longed to be a part. We tried to join groups in discussion, we joined the musicians and played with the congregational singing. Our parents didn't let us attend many sleepovers so our “fun times” were somewhat limited, but still there.

I must have mentioned some of these feelings of being unwanted to one of my mother's friends and she told me something I'll never forget. “Toni, sometimes being a wallflower is better than being in the popular crowd.” 

This made me think and finally start to accept my “status”. Life moved on. We changed churches a couple times and I moved south. But, I stayed on the edge.

Not all is lonely on the edge. I have many friends and times to talk and learn are many, but the drive to be popular has lessened some and I find life is less stressful. The benefits of a wallflower have increased as I consider my life. My growth in Christ has been assisted by true friends but not pressured by peers. Peer pressure is less on the edge and only has disastrous effects when trying to join the crowds. Don't get me wrong, I'm not denying that I would like to be considered popular. There is a deep feeling in all of us to be wanted by others.

The challenge/point of this post? Don't strive to be the center in the popular crowd. Strength to stand alone is greater when not spinning on the popularity merry-go-round. Seek the Lord and His will for your friendships, standards, and directions for your life.

If you are at the center of a crowd, don't underestimate the power of your influence. You may find it harder to stand-up for what's right, but the effects will be far-reaching. Also, consider those on the edge, a smile or an interest in their life goes a long way. But like I mentioned above – seek God and His will, without pressure for results acceptable to those around you.

Scars, Dimples, or Freckles?

The mark that Jesus leaves when He touches us is permanent. It's a mark that we notice, even though we may not attribute it to Him at first. It's not a mark that can be covered, because it overcomes our human nature. 

But the marks I'm writing about are the ones we leave. Think about your encounters with friends and strangers - "That song I really like, didn't Jenny play it for me?", "Never said 'Dude' until I met Joe", "That recipe is from Mom's college roommate", or "I really liked the shirt that the cashier was wearing". You are affected every day by touches from others. In the same way, you touch those you meet.

What kind of marks are you leaving? Scars are left by wounds that don't heal properly. Have you ripped something from someone? My mom has a dimple that was a result of an accident with a bicycle and a glass bottle. So her wound became something that is attractive. Some friendships start off quite rough, but as kindness and forgiveness enter the relationship they provide healing in an amazing way. Freckles are sometimes caused by sun, so a touch of warmth in a person's life can leave a positive mark as a result of your encounter. 

So how are you touching lives? How do you let someone's touch effect you? Remember, you leave a mark, even when you don't realize it.

Beware of "The Watcher"

If earthly comparison was an evil creature, I could easily picture a sea creature like "The Watcher" from Lord of the Rings; octopus-like tentacles with fingers, a mouth that opens up larger than imagined, and a tenacious nature hard to kill.

Through my battles with comparison, I have seen relationships suffer deeply and my attitudes reflect my heart instead of Christ's character. Comparison reaches into the depths of our emotions, clouds our thoughts and tries to hide God's truth. If I'm not dwelling on truth, a Godly, talented person can "cause" me to become bitter, towards them or just my own actions. My desire is to become like Christ, so why do I think becoming more like someone else would make it more likely?

Because of this struggle, I found the following quote to be a blessing and wanted to pass it on to whoever might read this.

Elisabeth Elliot said: "My limitations become, in the sovereignty of God, gifts. For it is with the equipment that I have been given that I am to glorify God." (A Lamp for My Feet, p. 125) The Bible reference that this quote seems to picture is 1 Corinthians 12.